Frequently Asked Questions
About the Workshops and Therapy
Q: Do I have to have read Harville Hendrix’s books in
order to take a workshop? And do I have to be in therapy?
A: People attend this workshop at various stages in their journey
towards consciousness. Some have done a lot of reading, therapy and personal
growth; others not as much. There are no prerequisites for attending these
workshops, but if you are currently in therapy it would be wise to discuss
your attendance with your therapist. They will be in the best place to
assist you after the workshop for any follow-up. We are available to consult
with your therapist about the processes taught at the workshop if you and
they desire.
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Q: Which is better, attending a workshop or going to
weekly therapy? And if I want to attend a workshop, which should I do first?
A: Each provides a different and unique experience. I recommend
going to a workshop as soon as you (and your partner, if you are a couple)
can arrange it. The workshop experience has been demonstrated to achieve
results comparable to 4-6 months of weekly therapy. It provides a solid
psycho-educational foundation to the personalized work that you (and your
partner) then have an opportunity to integrate. However, some people like to
become a little more familiar with the material, and have the therapist
familiar with them, before attending. We would be happy to discuss your
particular situation with you individually.
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Q: My relationship is falling apart and I don’t even know
if I want to stay married. I’m not sure which workshop I should attend, the
couples’ one or the one for singles?
A: If you are currently in a committed relationship, even if it is
very shaky, we recommend that both of you come to the workshop for couples.
The least that you can expect as a result of the workshop is clarity about
what you and your partner should do. Many couples find new hope and optimism
as a result of what they learn at the workshop. Occasionally they discover
that "too much water has gone under the bridge" and they decide to end the
relationship. Even if that is your decision, Imago therapy provides a
framework in which you can respectfully say good-bye. This is especially
critical if you have children that you will be co-parenting. And regardless
of having children or not, it is important to understand how YOU co-created
the current relationship you are in. YOU are going to take YOURSELF to
whatever relationship you are in, and you don’t want to find yourself
creating more similarly painful experiences. But for the most part, the
majority of couples leave the workshop with new energy, tools, and hope for
the road ahead.
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Q: How long can my partner and I expect to stay in
therapy?
A: That depends on several variables: how much woundedness
("baggage") you both bring from childhood and other adult relationships, how
much you’ve hurt each other in your current relationship, and the depth of
your commitment and ability to apply what you learn at home, between
sessions. One of the strengths of Imago therapy is that it tends to move
people fairly quickly into being able to manage the issues that life
presents them.
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Q: Does Imago Therapy apply to Gay and Lesbian couples?
Do you work with them?
A: Imago Therapy applies to all couples, regardless of sexual orientation,
ethnic or racial background, religion, personal history, or level of
education. Gay and Lesbian couples face all the issues that other couples
do, plus have to deal with issues unique to them. We have considerable
experience working with Gay and Lesbian couples. For more resources,
we
recommend you visit the websites of Joe Kort (www.joekort.com)
and Carole Kirby (www.therapy4couples.com).
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Q: Can we call or write with other questions?
A: Absolutely! Feel free to call
or
email any other questions that you might have.
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